Posted by: C.E. Chambers | February 9, 2012

The Librarian from Beverly Hills

A slice of Hawaiiana.  The true story of a librarian from Beverly Hills, California who moved to the Big Island of Hawai’i approximately one year before Pearl Harbor was attacked by Japan.

THE LIBRARIAN FROM BEVERLY HILLS

“Hawaii was almost like a foreign country when I moved here,” shared Betty Bowman, who arrived in September 1940.  The blond, blue-eyed 28-year-old had been working at the City Library (at that time located in the City Hall) in Beverly Hills, California, when she heard about an opening for a Children’s Librarian on the Big Island.  She told herself that, if accepted, she’d stay for just six months.

“I came here for an adventure,” she laughed, “and found a paradise for single girls.”  Describing Hawaii as “heaven before the war,” she fell in love at first sight with a half-Hawaiian man.  James Pierre Bowman and Mary Elizabeth Bond (Betty’s birth name) were married January 1941.  Four children were born to them, and eventually they had eleven grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.

“The old days were such fun,” Betty reminisced.  “The first time I flew into the Big Island, it was raining like crazy in Hilo.  Two women came out to the plane with umbrellas.”  She added, “Hardly anyone flew back then.  You could travel by boat from Hilo to Honolulu for only $8.00 and that included a cabin.  For $5.00, you had a mattress on the deck.”

Betty began working at the Hilo Library, and her position included servicing the schools in both east and west Hawaii.  Three to four days a week were spent on the road.  The librarians, who were “sent out in pairs like missionaries,” utilized puppets along with literature.  They worked from early morning until they were pau (finished) which was sometimes quite late.  A young man of Asian descent assisted them by driving an old Ford book truck with a side that lifted up like a lunch wagon.  Sometimes a territorial car with a running board also doubled as a moving library.

“On Hilo side, we’d travel first to Pa’auilo, and then to Volcano.  Then we’d drive to Puna.  If it was raining, we’d drive into the school’s garage and open up the side of the truck to the children and teachers.”

Traveling to the west side of the island was decidedly more arduous.  Because of the four-hour drive from Hilo to the Kohala coast and the rustic trails that led to the schools, the traveling librarians usually spent the night upcountry at the old Waimea Hotel.

Betty’s adventurous nature surfaced when talking about their forays into Waipio.  “It was a good, fun trip.  Each of us had two gunnysacks full of books, and we would drive to the plantation at Honoka’a where two horses would usually be saddled and waiting for us.  It was a little spooky because of the narrow trail leading down into Waipio, but we would ride slowly, visit the school, and then spend the rest of the day racing our horses!”

Sometimes Betty and the other librarian would walk down the trail with their gunny sacks – a 1½-hour trip.

“There was quite a settlement down there in Waipio.  There was a four-room schoolhouse located by a river, and a couple of churches.  The 1946 tidal wave destroyed a lot.”

Servicing the schools in the Kona area was much easier as they were mostly in walking distance of each other, some just two or three minutes apart.  However, the old Kona Road, as she called it, was “very narrow and only half-paved.  They had run out of money and hadn’t finished it.”

Another hardship was the lack of public restrooms.  Many times they used the time-honored tradition of campers who are forced to utilize trees or bushes as cover for an outdoor latrine.  Small country schools had outhouses:  There was a bowl of water to wash the hands.  There was also a bucket of water and a dipper “and everybody drank out of it.”

On Saturdays they visited plantations until noon.

Betty, who had attended Reed College in Oregon, Pomona College in California, and the University of California in Berkeley, had graduated with a Masters in Library Science.  She wasn’t prepared for what she called the “verbal shorthand” in Hawaii.

“The pidgin was so prevalent when I first came, I could hardly understand a word!” she laughed.  “There were times I wished I was back on Beverly Boulevard.”

Keeping up on national and international news wasn’t easy, either.  Ships arrived from Honolulu only twice a week and the newspapers were already out of date.  Sometimes they were mailed to the island.  Air travel was arduous compared to today:  It took 2½ hours to fly from Honolulu to Hilo on a 12-passenger plane.

When Pearl Harbor was bombed December 1941, everyone was frozen to their jobs.  “I had married Pierre January 30, 1942, during wartime, and remained working in Hilo for three more months.  He was working for the Kohala Sugar Co., and it was a six-hour trip by bus from Hilo to Kohala to visit him on the weekends.  On Saturday, I would take the bus at noon to Kohala and return to Hilo Monday morning.  Sometimes he would drive to Hilo to stay with me on the weekend.”

“A college friend who had married Pierre’s brother had taken me to a luau and introduced me to Pierre.  When I first saw him, it was love at first sight.  He had curly dark hair and brown, mischievous eyes.  When you’re 29, you’ve been around the block a few times and know what you want.”  Pierre’s father was English and Scotch-Irish, a colonel who had served in the Army in Ohio.  His mother was “pure Native Hawaiian.”

Betty’s eyes surely sparkled when she remembered her next encounter with Pierre.  It was on one of the days that a ship from the mainland arrived, which was considered a requisite social outing.  “Everyone congregated at the pier, kind of like friends and family meeting at the mall or the beach.  Just as my friends and I were ready to leave, there was Pierre at the other end of the pier.  I told my friends that I  had a ride.  Not really knowing what would happen next, I waited until the crowd had thinned out.  That’s when Pierre came over to me and asked if I had a ride home.”  As they say, the rest is history.

They were married a few months later at Christ Church in Kona.  Betty was 29 and Pierre was 32-years-old.  The plantation gave them a two-bedroom house to live in and a one-week honeymoon before she returned to Hilo.

Just a few months later, in April, Betty moved to their house in north Kohala and began working at the Bond Memorial Library.  At that time, it was open only three afternoons a week.  She stamped the books and a custodian swept the floor.

“I got pregnant right off the bat,” Betty remembers.  She gave birth to three girls and one boy (Barbara, Kimo, Maile, Lani) and at the age of 13 or 14 they were all attending different boarding schools.

After Betty and Pierre’s first daughter was born, Betty taught girls’ P.E. for one year at the Kohala Elementary and High School.  As employees of the Kohala Sugar Co. rose to higher positions, they were given larger houses.  The Bowman family lived in the house in the Union Mill area the longest:  a two-story, six-bedroom prefab from New England with high ceilings.  They purchased it in the 1960s for $19,000.  After residing there for 50-years, they sold it in 1992.

Betty worked off and on as she raised her children.  In the mid-50s, she taught one of the first Hawaiiana classes and one of the first sex education classes at Kohala High School.  She retired in 1974.

During their retirement years, Betty and Pierre did some major traveling.  They flew to Guatemala to visit a nephew, and they cruised on the Inland Passage in Alaska.  They also traveled across Canada on a train.

Pierre retired in 1970.  He passed away in 1995 at the age of 85.  “He was a darling,” Betty fondly remembered.  Friends and family still comment on the fact that he was the love of her life.

 Betty passed away in January 4, 2004 at the age of 92.  The legacy of Pierre and Betty Bowman is a blessing to all those who knew them.  As her children are known to say, “No one ever left our parents’ house hungry, or without a smile on their faces and with laughter filling their insides.”

(Written by C.E. Chambers and purchased by the “Waimea Gazette” in 2004.  Matt Pearce was the owner/editor.)

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Posted in Hawai'i, Horses, Librarian, Pearl Harbor

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | October 21, 2011

“The Mighty Macs”: Film Review

theatrical poster

Written by C.E. Chambers   Published October 21, 2011

It’s been an unusually good month for well-made films with creative content that can be enjoyed by the whole family.  “The Big Year” (an absorbing and humorous story about professional birdwatchers competing against each other), “Moneyball” (the riveting true story of the financially strapped Oakland Athletics baseball team who became unexpected champions when the general manager threw out conventional wisdom regarding how to choose players), “Courageous” (another inspirational drama/comedy from Sherwood Pictures about men who serve their communities heroically who also become champions at home).

And now “The Mighty Macs” from Quaker Media.  The true story of Cathy Rush, a young woman who decided not to let rejection define her but used her skills to transform a rag-tag team of unpolished and disinterested female basketball players from a small, struggling Catholic college into one heart, one hope, and one goal -– who ended up astonishing the nation.

I saw this film a couple of days ago and really enjoyed it.  An inspirational, thought-provoking, and sometimes humorous story with some “Cathy-isms” that are rather brilliant from a woman who was only in her early twenties at the time.  It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of conquering giants and shocking so-called “experts” and maybe easy to write a review along these lines.  However, the film’s content and characters are much meatier than that.

Tim Chambers, the producer, writer, and director of “The Mighty Macs,” stated in the press kit for this film that “the story is told from Cathy’s point of view.”  In one of those divinely inspired twists of fate, he saw her when he was ten-years-old.  He watched Cathy coach Immaculata College’s basketball team as they practiced in his grade school gym in Pennsylvania.  The players were “incredibly gifted and cohesive.”

Cathy Rush also left an indelible impression on Mr. Chambers: He never forgot “the swagger, the style, the charisma.”  He could have never guessed that, years later, he would enter into partnership with Vince Curran, a former basketball star from Pennsylvania, to create Quaker Media and make a film about her.

In the early 1970s, Cathy became head coach of the basketball team from the all-female Immaculata College in Pennsylvania.  In 1972, The Mighty Macs –- wearing their uniform short dresses with plaid sashes against other female competitors dressed in non-restrictive shorts and tops — won the historic, first national championship for women’s college basketball.  They went on to win the championship for two more consecutive years.

Cathy was inducted into the Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame in 2000, and was inducted into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame in 2008.

It wasn’t commonplace in the early 1970s to encourage females to pursue sports.  Cathy (played confidently by Carla Gugino) is a “woman with a dream” who’s surprised when the Reverend Mother at Immaculata College accepts her application to become their basketball coach. She’s never worked in this capacity before.

Cathy could have allowed fate and cultural norms to define her.  She had excelled at basketball during high school and was dismayed when her high school cancelled the girls’ basketball season during her senior year and asked them to become cheerleaders instead.  She was a star player at West Chester University in Pennsylvania during her freshman and sophomore years but was cut by her coach during her third year.

The Reverend Mother (played by Ellen Burstyn), during her job interview with Cathy, asks her if she’s named after Saint Catherine of Alexandria or Saint Catherine of Siena.

“Atlantic City,” Cathy flippantly replies.

“That’s good, because St. Catherine of Alexandria had her head chopped off,” the Reverend Mother retorts.  (I love Burstyn in this role.)

Cathy, a Baptist, is given the job because no one else applied for it.  Her new husband, Ed Rush (David Boreanaz), disparages her small seasonal salary and wants her to spend more time at home.  He’s a referee in the National Basketball Association (NBA) whom director/writer/producer Tim Chambers describes as an “alpha male.”

It’s a good thing that Cathy is a determined type of person – and even a little bull-headed — because it turns out she’s expected to make bricks without straw.  They gym burned down three months ago, there may not be enough players to form a basketball team, and Immaculata College is failing financially.  The Monsignor wants to sell it.

A young nun (Marley Shelton) who’s disillusioned with the mundane work that’s also a requirement of her spiritual commitment agrees to become Cathy’s assistant coach.  (Marley, a great adjunct to the other strong female characters, says “take a knee” when she encourages The Mighty Macs to pray before competitions.)

The Mighty Macs have a love-hate relationship with Cathy at first.  For example, she gives each girl a piece of paper and reverently instructs them to close their eyes and envision everything they know about basketball.  She wants them to “mentally transfer this knowledge onto these delicate pieces of paper and hold them close to your heart.”  The girls obediently do this, Cathy solemnly collects the pieces of paper in a basket – then disgustedly throws them in the trash.  They’re in basketball boot camp, Cathy’s their boss, and she’s breaking them down so she can build them back up into worthy competitors.  Thinking about this scene still makes me laugh.

There are quite a few Cathy-isms in this film and this is one of my favorites: “Representing this school is a privilege: We will learn to defend it.”

Cathy is definitely “sassy, strong, charismatic, attractive, stylish, and a natural leader” (all of the qualities that director Tim Chambers looked for in the actress who would play this part), but she’s also big-hearted and could easily double as a college counselor.  One of her players is overcome by grief after her boyfriend breaks up with her.  The coach seeks her out, empathizes with her, but doesn’t let her wallow in self-pity.

“What are some of the things that he is going to miss about you?  What makes you special?  What you think of yourself is way more important than what he thinks about you.”

The girl had been proudly wearing her boyfriend’s letterman-type jacket to signify their upcoming engagement, but Cathy instructs, “Don’t let his jacket define you” — and hands her a new, sporty, and very attractive black and white jacket.  One that all of the team members will now start wearing over their official athletic uniforms before they compete in those totally inappropriate dresses that don’t contribute much to modesty when they take tumbles on the floor.

“You’ve earned this jacket.  Nobody can take it away,” Cathy shares.

As The Mighty Macs unexpectedly begin to trounce their opponents, discouraged nuns who are expecting to be relocated God-knows-where after years of service at Immaculata College rally to become the team’s most loyal defenders and pack gymnasiums during competitions.  Faces beaming with joy unspeakable, they pump their fists in the air when the team scores points.  (The gesture is very ‘70s-ish and hasn’t gone out of style since.)

And newspaper headlines demonstrate the public’s fascination with the team:  “What a Rush!” (a ‘70s cultural play on words), and “It’s Becoming A Habit.”

A sports announcer, thrilled by The Mighty Macs performance at the first national championship for women’s college basketball, exclaims:  “When will this fairy tale end?  The answer lies somewhere between heaven and hardwood!!”  Just one week before, they had been in 15th place out of 16 bids.

By all means, may independent moviemakers — since Hollywood is dragging its leaden feet — present weary American audiences with even more films that instill hope, inspire greatness, and sometimes even portray religion as a very natural and fulfilling backdrop to real flesh-and-blood people – even nuns who stay up all night playing poker.  You know, the same ones who feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and sleep on hard beds in barely furnished bedrooms.  Definitely my kind of Jesus-follower – even if I don’t understand the concept of praying to saints.

Rated G: A man in a motel lounge makes a very suggestive comment to two women.  Similar to some of C.E. Chambers’ film reviews, it would have benefited from a little editing.

[The photo of the cast from "The Mighty Macs" is courtesy of EPK.TV.]

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Posted by: C.E. Chambers | October 14, 2011

C.E. Chambers’ Interview With Actor Ken Bevel: “Courageous” Enough To Love

C.E. Chambers had the privilege recently of interviewing actor Ken Bevel by telephone.  See the gritty opening scene of “Courageous” at the end of this article.

Ken Bevel playing Nathan Hayes/Courtesy Todd Stone and courageousthemovie.com

Actor Ken Bevel/Courtesy Todd Stone and courageousthemovie.com

On September 30, a new full-length feature film was released by TriStar Pictures that was produced by the independent and visionary Sherwood Pictures.  “Courageous” had already received $2 million in pre-ticket sales and earned $9,112,839 million at the box office that weekend even though it had a paltry budget (by Hollywood standards) of $1 million.  It debuted as number four in the U.S. compared to all other films that were showing and ranked in first place compared to three other new films.

Excitement had been building since November 2009 when the moviemaking team of Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick from Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia, had announced they were involved in the development of a fourth film.  “Courageous” tells the story of “four policemen with a calling to serve and protect” their communities who realize their greatest challenge is to successfully raise their children.

Ken Bevel is a former U.S. Marine and senior assistant pastor at Sherwood Baptist Church who stars as a deputy policeman in “Courageous.”   (Kevin Downes stars, as does former running back Tony Stallings, Ben Davies, and Alex Kendrick, the director and co-writer of “Courageous.”)  He explained his thespian career this way:  “I’ve come a long way since playing a tree in pre-school.”

Bevel has actually starred in two full-length feature films, the first time as a fireman in “Fireproof” (2008) with popular actor Kirk Cameron, another movie produced by Sherwood Pictures.  Bevel was asked to compare Sherwood Pictures with Hollywood’s moviemaking industry.  “I think we have two different purposes.  They do it to make money and entertain people.  Our focus is to help change lives.”

Sherwood Pictures is sometimes derided by Hollywood insiders as “just a bunch of amateurs making movies.”  What is the secret to its success when the “studio” consists largely of volunteer cast and crew who utilize private homes and other locations around Albany, Georgia, for camera shoots?  “Fireproof” had a budget of only $500,000 but was the highest grossing independent film of 2008.

“Since prayer is the foundation of the ministry-at-large and at Sherwood Pictures, we spend a great amount of time in prayer before we even enter into production,” Ken responded.  “We know that we are always one prayer away from making a huge mistake.”

“Courageous,” like “Fireproof,” doesn’t shy away from unpopular subjects but effectively tackles seemingly insurmountable issues with a skillful combination of great drama, riveting action scenes, and even humor.  Both movies offer hope to hurting people.

Ken Bevel’s marriage underwent a profound change three years ago as “Fireproof” was being filmed.  He played Lt. Michael Simmons, a fireman whose friend, Captain Caleb Holt, was consumed with frustration because of his disastrous relationship with his wife.  When she began divorce proceedings, Caleb’s father compelled him to try the forty-day “Love Dare” which, after many false starts, resurrected his love for her and saved their marriage.

Advice contained in “The Love Dare” can honestly be described as revolutionary common sense based on Christian teachings.  Bevel, a Christian at the time, shared that his “mindset changed” when he realized he wasn’t living up to admonitions in the Bible regarding the way men should treat their wives.

As Bevel shared, “Ephesians 5:25 encourages a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church.  Jesus laid down his life for us.  Was I doing that?  No.  How could I be making a movie if my own marriage didn’t reflect the message we were trying to put across?”

He went on to share, “Christ always made time for people and explained to them why he was doing things.  We can get caught up in day-to-day activities.  Am I putting aside things that I want to do to bless my wife as Christ has blessed me? ” Bevel made a short reference to this teaching applying to the “physical” part of marriage as well as to other areas.

Ken Bevel is a graduate of the University of Memphis with a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Engineering Technology, and a graduate of the Naval Postgraduate School with a Master of Business Administration degree in Logistics Management.  He spent twenty years in the U.S. Marines Corps and served overseas in places like Japan and Kuwait, and traveled to Iraq and Afghanistan.  He retired from the Marine Corps as a Captain in April 2011.  He began serving almost immediately as a senior assistant pastor at the multi-ethnic, three-thousand-member Sherwood Baptist Church.

Bevel has been married to Luana Bevel for fifteen years, and they have two children: four-year old daughter Kyra and two-year-old son Kaleb.  Ken and Luana, like many other Americans, have activated blocking controls on their television to filter out programs they consider unsuitable for their children.

Bevel was raised in Jacksonville, Florida, by a Christian mother and a father who stayed home on Sundays to watch football.  Ken deeply loved his father and his “dream was to be like him.”  However, when he was approximately seven-years-old, his father became caught up in drugs and alcohol and his parents divorced.

Bevel says the premise of his new film, “Courageous,” parallels his life – boys who are raised without fathers who end up committing acts of crime – and he experimented with drugs when he grew older.  He graduated from high school when he was seventeen-years-old and joined the U.S. Marine Corps.  He liked the structured environment but continued “clubbing and drinking” and it affected his work performance.

His first sergeant gave him a warning around 1992 but Bevel didn’t change his ways and he was eventually charged with a court-martial.  After being told the devastating news, Ken went back to his room, dropped to his knees and prayed for God to help him.

“I hadn’t prayed for a while and I hadn’t attended church for a long time.  I didn’t know how to change.”  He gave his life to the Lord and promised, “If you can help me, I will serve you.”

Two weeks later, Ken drove to a Wal-Mart store where he saw three men standing in the parking lot.  They were a Christian ministry team who approached him and asked, “Do you know the Lord?” Ken answered “No,” and they asked if he would like prayer.  When Ken said “Yes,” they prayed with him on the spot.

Approximately two weeks after this experience, a woman employed by the U.S. Marine Corps as a “monitor” (someone who helps transfer soldiers to other bases) arrived in Camp Lejeune in South Carolina where Bevel was stationed.  She presented him with very surprising news: The Marine Corps was willing to drop the court-martial case against him.

“Where do you want to go?” she asked.

“As far away as possible,” he answered.  He was transferred to Japan for one year.  His life began to radically change as he began attending church regularly and met “godly” men.   Also, his work performance greatly improved.

In 2003, Ken was stationed in Okinawa when he took a trip “back home” to Florida to see his father who “looked really beaten down.”  Their relationship was reconciled when Ken told him he loved him, and his father prayed for Jesus Christ to enter his life.  He passed away five years ago.

Bevel is a popular speaker at U.S. military bases and church congregations and is sometimes given permission by movie theater management to appear after showings of films produced by Sherwood Pictures.  Standing in front of the screen, he thanks the people who have attended and asks for the audience’s input.  Surprisingly, most people stay and are very open to listening to a presentation of the gospel of Christ.  Ken says people “want to leave changed.”  Sometimes moviegoers seek out Sherwood Baptist Church.  Recently, twenty-five people who had seen “Courageous” on a Friday (October 7) attended the following Sunday service.

Bevel, an African-American, was asked if he had experienced racism while living in the South.  “Most definitely,” he responded, and then clarified: “I don’t see it in the church.”   Sometimes restaurant servers have approached his table after waiting on diners who arrived after him.

What would Bevel say to President Obama, or any U.S. President, if he had the chance? “I would encourage my Commander-in-Chief to follow the Lord with all of his heart and soul and with all of his strength, and to love his neighbor as himself.”

NOTE:  Against all statistical odds, one million people turned out to watch “Courageous” during its opening weekend (Sept. 30 – Oct. 2).  Although it appeared on far fewer screens than other films, it received a post-screen average of $7,752 per screen which was almost double that of other movies.  More moviegoers turned out to watch showings of “Courageous” than any other film that played that weekend, including “Dream House,” “Moneyball,” “Contagion,” “Killer Elite,” “Dolphin Tale,” “The Lion King 3D,” “Abduction,” “50/50,” and “What’s Your Number.”

FILM REVIEW EXCERPT FROM THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER:  “Courageous reveals the duo’s growing expertise as filmmakers with its skillful blending of moving drama, subtle comedy and several impressive action sequences, including a well-staged foot chase and a harrowing shootout between the cops and bad guys.”  (Read full review here)

RELATED:  A fascinating article about Sherwood Baptist Church and the pastor’s interaction with the African-American community:  “Multi-ethnic Churches Still Rare In 21st Century” (read here).

RELATED:   A video interview with Ken Bevel and Alex Kendrick regarding how they choose a storyline, etc. (link here).

RELATED:  A video taken during opening weekend of “Courageous” with clips from the film including short interviews with Stephen Kendrick ( the producer and co-writer), Alex Kendrick (the director, co-writer, and actor), and actors (link here).

YOUTUBE VIDEO:  The opening scene To “Courageous”:

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Posted in Sherwood Pictures, "Courageous", Ken Bevel, Policemen, Sherwood Baptist Church

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | October 7, 2011

Elvis Presley: Saint And Sinner Who Almost Married Sandy Ferra (New Interview And Photos)

Posted October 7, 2011

ELVIS PRESLEY: SAINT AND SINNER WHO ALMOST MARRIED SANDY FERRA 

Sept. 2011: Sandy Ferra Martindale is on the far right; Wink Martindale is third from the right. Courtesy: Dan Wooding.

Dan Wooding is an award-winning British journalist, author, and well-known radio commentator and host who lives in California.  He recently interviewed a woman who had dated Elvis Presley for six years.  She had met the King of Rock and Roll at her father’s night club in Los Angeles two months after he had returned from serving in the U.S. Military in Germany.  She was just fourteen-years-old.  Over the course of what sounds like a long and delightful relationship, they discussed marriage.

Sandy Ferra later married Wink Martindale, a popular radio and television personality, who had known Elvis in Tennessee years before she met him.  Sandy Ferra:  “And then Elvis told Wink that I was the nicest girl from the nicest family that he ever knew.”  Sandy and Wink were with Elvis in Las Vegas just months before he died in 1977.

Read Dan Wooding’s full bio after the article.  He’s published forty-four books, including his memoirs, From Tabloid to Truth, and a new novel, Red Dagger.

ASSIST News Service 

“Elvis and the G.I. Blues…”

By Dan Wooding   September 30, 2011

BEVERLY HILLS, CA (ANS) — After Elvis Presley returned to the United States from Germany in 1960 following his time as a G.I., he eventually moved to Los Angeles and with his girlfriend Priscilla pining for him in Germany, Elvis Presley began dating Sandy Ferra, the then 14-year-old daughter of a nightclub owner.

This was revealed at the Media Fellowship International (MFI) Thirteenth Annual Praise Brunch held at the historic Beverly Hills Hotel on Saturday, September 17, 2011, when the perennial American radio and television favorite, Wink Martindale, said, during his keynote address, that his wife, Sandy Ferra, who was in the audience, had once dated Elvis Presley.

That news was too much for an old hack like myself to pass by, so I managed to get an interview Sandy after the event, and I discovered that, because of her young age, she was initially chaperoned everywhere by her mother Mary Lou, and that 25-year-old Presley got no further than kissing Sandy, but apparently he had other intentions.

Media reports said that one night Presley asked Mary Lou if she and her daughter would consider moving to his new mansion, the soon-to-be-legendary Graceland, where he would “raise” Sandy as his future wife.

In this exclusive interview, Sandy told me that she first met the King of Rock and Roll when he visited the Cross Bow, her father’s night club in Panorama City, which is located in the San Fernando Valley region of Los Angeles. He was in town to make “G.I. Blues,” his first film after his discharge from the army.

“Elvis had just got out of the army and one day he came into my dad’s club and saw my picture in the office, and said, ‘I’d like to meet your daughter,’” Sandy recalled. “So Elvis called me, and because it was a school night and my mother wouldn’t drive me up to the nightclub, he said he could come back the next week and he asked me if I could come up and meet him there. In the meantime, my dad came home and told me that he [Elvis] was a ‘gorgeous guy’ because I didn’t know who Elvis Presley was.”

Sandy explained that Elvis didn’t visit the club to sing, but just for recreation.

So, the next week my mother said she would drive me to the club,” said Sandy. “Elvis had a date with a beautiful actress and I just sat there with my little ponytail and frilly dress. He kissed me on the cheek and then he called and told my mother he wanted to date me and my mother said, ‘I don’t care if you’re King Farouk; my daughter’s only fourteen and she can’t go out with you.’ So he said to my mother, ‘Well, you can come on the date,’ so she came on our first three dates.”

Where did you go?  [Read more here and see a photo of Sandy Ferra with Elvis]


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Posted in ASSIST News Service, Dan Wooding, Elvis Presley, Sandy Ferra Martindale, Wink Martindale

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | October 1, 2011

“The Lion King 3D”: Film Review

theatrical release poster

Written by C.E. Chambers  Posted October 1, 2011

Mr. Seatmate and I think we’re quite sophisticated for rednecks and we’re not hardcore fans of 3D, so naturally we didn’t plan to watch this Disney classic.  Besides, we’d seen it numerous times since it was first released in 1994.  However, “Straw Dogs 2011” was so revolting we found ourselves gravitating the next week to something tried-and-true and G-rated.

It was like putting on a pair of shoes that’s out of style but exceedingly more comfortable and of higher quality than contemporary footwear.  Something you wish would last forever but would gladly scrimp and save to purchase again and again.

There’s only one problem if you watch “The Lion King 3D” at a theater.  You have to sit through the revolting previews for “Happy Feet 2” and “Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked.”  One has to be in just the right mood for jive, Antarctic penguins who make life miserable for a young penguin who is disarmingly innocent and naïve but, alas, “choreo-phobic” (as some critics are describing little Erik’s flaw in advertisements for the sequel to “Happy Feet.”).  Say, what?

As for “Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked,” the animals (especially Alvin) can best be described as looking as if they’re wearing invisible but heavily loaded diapers the wrong way ‘round.  And I mean loaded.

We also saw a preview of the new Muppets movie: They were singing “We Built This City On Rock And Roll.”

“The Lion King” is such a charming and well-made film that it really doesn’t need the addition of 3D.  But I rather enjoyed the novelty of an exotic bird flying over my head to land on bended knee before regal King Mufasa during the opening scenes.  (The king is memorably voiced, of course, by James Earl Jones).

Jungle foliage projects mystically into the theater and tropical rain falls all around.  Just before the film starts, a large, glistening prism expands and seems about to envelop viewers.  The 3D effect mostly occurs during the first third or so of the movie although there are one or two surprises later.

The leering expressions on the faces of the mean hyenas that are larger than life in one scene aren’t graphic enough to frighten small children.  This is an area of concern that could become very controversial if makers of 3D films incorporate disturbing images into G-rated movies.

I just had a disturbing thought: Will “Straw Dogs 2011” be converted into 3D one day?  If you can see rain falling on you but you can’t touch it…if birds fly so close they can almost nest in your hair….It’s too horrible to contemplate.

As I melted into my seat while enjoying “The Lion King 3D,” I was caught short by the realization that the vocabulary is probably much higher than what’s available in most films geared for young children today.  When’s the last time expressions like “quid pro quo” and “At your service, my liege” rolled believably off of animated characters’ lips?  Instead of a preachy propaganda-laden cliché, wise advice like “You can run from your past or you can learn from it” is offered.

As almost everyone knows, Simba is the male offspring to the wise King Mufasa, the undisputed champion and overseer of the lion kingdom and all those who reside within its orders.  Simba’s jealous and very crafty uncle, Scar, creates a scenario that causes the impressionable young lion to voluntarily leave the safe haven of his father’s kingdom which enables the slinky Scar to take over King Mufasa’s throne.

Since almost everyone is already acquainted with this timeless film (including children wearing loaded diapers the right way ‘round), I won’t elaborate on any of the other characters except for Pumbaa, the silly but loyal warthog who mostly plays straight man to Zazu, the very funny meerkat (a type of mongoose).  Zazu keeps up a running commentary on almost everything.  He’s like a stand-up comedian who doesn’t need to use one-sided political humor to guarantee he’ll have an audience.

The addition of an Elton John song during the end credits makes this film a class act from beginning to end.

Hakuna Matata, everyone (Swahili for “no worries”).  In Hawaiian, it’s A’ole pilikia: “No problem.”  I’m really glad I took the time to see this film again and I feel privileged to have been able to write about it.

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Posted in "The Lion King 3D", Entertainment, Films

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | September 30, 2011

New Film “Courageous” Opens Sept. 30, 2011: Press Release

theatrical release poster

C.E.C.: The moviemaking ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia, continues to astound experts in the entertainment industry.  Its low-budget, third independent film, “Fireproof” (with Kirk Cameron), grossed $33.4 million at the box office in 2008 and most of the cast and crew were volunteers.  This latest release by Sherwood Pictures (distributed by TriStar Pictures) is another film marketed to families that is nonetheless unafraid to tackle difficult issues and has already received more than $2 million in pre-sales ticketing: “The story of four police officers with one calling: to serve and protect.”

From Lovell-Fairchild Communications : For Immediate Release

CULVER CITY, CA (Sept. 29, 2011) – TriStar Pictures and Sherwood Pictures are pleased to announce that COURAGEOUS, the latest installment from Sherwood Pictures, has reached more than $2 million in pre-sales ticketing in anticipation of Friday’s national release.

Pre-sales numbers for COURAGEOUS more than double that of Sherwood Pictures’ most recent film, Fireproof, which opened at $6.8 million and went on to gross more than $33.4 million at the box office.

COURAGEOUS is the fourth release from the moviemaking ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia.  The first release was Flywheel (2003), followed by Facing The Giants (2006) and Fireproof (2008).  With each release, Sherwood Pictures continues to entertain moviegoers with films that affect lives through heartfelt stories of faith and hope.

“Such great advance momentum reaffirms that the topic of fathers is universal and that COURAGEOUS touches a nerve,” Sherwood Pictures Executive Producer Michael Catt said. “Present or absent, fathers shape lives and we’re excited to use drama, adventure, humor  . . . to inspire men to the high adventure of full-on parenting.”

COURAGEOUS is the story of four police officers with one calling: to serve and protect.  As law enforcement officers, the men are confident and focused. Yet at the end of the day, they face a challenge that none of them are truly prepared to tackle:  fatherhood.  With God’s help, they struggle to be able to find a way to serve and protect those that are most dear to them. COURAGEOUS is rated PG-13 (for some violence and drug content) and runs 129 minutes.

ABOUT SHERWOOD PICTURES
Sherwood Pictures is the movie-making ministry of Sherwood Church of Albany, Georgia, known for its authentic and faith-filled stories of everyday life. Executive producers are Michael Catt and Jim McBride; Alex Kendrick is director, and Stephen Kendrick producer.  To date, Sherwood Pictures has produced Flywheel (2003), Facing the Giants (2006), Fireproof (2008), and now COURAGEOUS. www.SherwoodPictures.com

Lovell-Fairchild Communications: Monique@Lovell-Fairchild.com at 1-214-536-4319

(Highlighting was added by C.E. Chambers)

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Posted in Entertainment, Films, Sherwood Pictures

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | September 24, 2011

The Help (2011): Film Review

theatrical release poster

By C.E. Chambers   Posted September 24, 2011

This film is based on a novel by Kathryn Stockett.  Tate Taylor, the screenwriter and director, deftly achieved a near-miraculous balance between the raw subject matter and the characters drawn from sensitive racial tensions and cultural traditions of the 1960s in America’s South.

The major protagonists are Negro women living in 1963 in Jackson, Mississippi, who are career domestic servants for pampered, wealthy white women, and a young Caucasian journalist nicknamed “Skeeter.”  Skeeter (Emma Stone) has just graduated from college and is angry at her mother for the mysterious firing of a much-loved maid who had worked for the family for twenty-nine years.  She obtains a part-time job writing a cleaning advice column for The Jackson Journal.

Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer give inspired, brilliant performances as Aibileen and Minny, two maids from an era when young Negro girls not infrequently dropped out of school in order to earn money for their struggling families.

The long-suffering Aibileen, whose son died four years before, faithfully works six days a week and instills frequent healthy doses of self-esteem into the white children she lovingly raises (seventeen in all).  Minny is a renowned cook whose employer throws a hissy fit at the thought of a Negro using her bathroom.  Mississippi laws during that time period explicitly outlawed the interchange of books between white and black schools and prohibited black barbers from cutting white girls’ hair.

The white women spend most of their time primping for and attending sumptuous luncheons and raising money for poor children in Africa.  Most of them are honey nice on the outside and pitifully shallow on the inside.  (Actress Sissy Spacek’s character is a spunky alternative to the disingenuous characters.)  They’re very negligent mothers; one is known to leave her child in the same diaper for ten hours if the family maid isn’t there to change it.

Hilly, the town’s heartless queen bee (played malevolently by Bryce Dallas Howard), whom all the other white women swarm around, refuses to loan $75 to her maid to help her son remain in college.  Hilly prefaces her response by saying, “As a Christian, I’m doing you a favor…” and then adds something like “[We] don’t give charity to those who are well and able to take care of themselves.”  But that’s when she’s being nice.

Skeeter, a likable, color-blind and eager journalist (Stone is never cloying), decides to write a book “from the perspective of the help.” She tries to gain the confidence of the black maids in the town.

Vintage cars, upswept hairdos, women who wear starched, cotton dresses (Skeeter wears what looks like a fetching all-linen dress in an early scene), and turquoise-colored leather booths from a diner impart a decidedly ‘60s aura.

Domestic violence is alluded to but never seen.  African-Americans receive spiritual and emotional nourishment by attending a Christian church.  (When was the last time Hollywood allowed non-African-American characters to listen to a church sermon and put the words into practice after arriving home?)

There’s a short segment about Medgar Evers, the gifted African-American civil rights activist and first field operator for Mississippi’s NAACP who was murdered in Jackson in 1963.  The unsettling subject matter could have justifiably propelled the film in a different direction.  Evers once wrote:

“It may sound funny, but I love the South. I don’t choose to live anywhere else. There’s land here, where a man can raise cattle, and I’m going to do it some day. There are lakes where a man can sink a hook and fight the bass. There is room here for my children to play and grow, and become good citizens—if the white man will let them….”

“The Help” is almost two and one half hours long but the film never lags.  Even though there’s an uneven emphasis on wealthy white women to the exclusion of portraying anyone else as poor unless they’re Negroes, and even though Southern white men are portrayed as obnoxious and unfeeling, and even though there’s a ridiculously ignorant but good-hearted dumb blonde with an hourglass shape whose clothes look like they’ve been painted on her, and even though the other dominant white woman besides Skeeter is a stereotypically cold-hearted and unethical Christian, I still enjoyed this film.  At least three other white characters aren’t heavily stereotyped.

I will be very surprised if “The Help” and some of the actors aren’t nominated for awards.  I believe without a doubt that it will be re-released in February 2012 during the 84th Academy Awards.

[Rated PG-13: light profanity; a racial expletive; blood from a miscarriage; a pie from h*ll]

********

It’s impossible to watch this film without the specter of slavery looming in the shadows of the darkened theaters in which it’s shown.  The early 1960s was the dawning of the civil rights movement in Mississippi.  Approximately 102 years earlier, Mississippi had been unwilling to part with its slaves and had broken away from President Lincoln’s Union of federally-connected states.  The Civil War began shortly thereafter; four long years passed and approximately 650,000 soldiers died but slavery was eradicated from America.

In 1963, an African-American living in the South who was more than one hundred years of age may have been born into slavery.

In approximately 1970, I experienced something that alerted me to the fact that a measure of the same cultural scenario that was playing out in the Jim Crow South had a toe-hold in the Pacific Northwest where slavery had been basically non-existent (except among early indigenous Native Americans).

As a recent high school graduate, I had obtained a temporary job at a large company in Bellevue, Washington, a city I wasn’t familiar with.  On my first day of work, I arrived late at the crowded downtown Seattle bus terminal and jumped onto a packed bus just before it departed for the approximate thirty or forty minute trip.  I quickly paid my fare and turned around to search for a seat – and was surprised to see everyone staring at me.  They all had the same stunned expression on their faces.

They were all African-American women dressed in white uniforms who were on their way to work as domestic servants for the affluent residents of Bellevue.

For the two weeks or so that I worked for the insurance company in Bellevue, I was the only white passenger during that morning ride.  The African-American women always seemed a little surprised when I boarded the bus.  The passenger sitting next to me would engage in pleasant small talk if I instigated it.

I debated whether I should share this story.  The only people who can validate it are the passengers whose bus I shared and my father, who was a policeman and worked in downtown Seattle.  He drove me to the bus terminal each morning.  He passed away a few years ago.

********

Note:  Slavery in North America is a very complex subject for many reasons.  The geographical enormity of the region, the individual histories of the early British-held colonies that introduced Europe’s practice of owning African-American slaves to the new world, and the American Territories and American states (some were created with a prohibition against slavery and others ended slavery in the late 1700s), etc.  In addition, African-Americans, Native Americans, and even whites were slaves.

On the eve of the Civil War in 1861, America had thirty-four states and at least seven Territories.  There were nineteen “free” states and fifteen “slave” states. (Other states were added to the Union during the Civil War which can cause confusion for researchers.)

Many if  not most of the soldiers who fought during the Civil War were volunteers, especially during the first year.

Some researchers say that African slaves were introduced into North America two centuries before the United States Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776.  Others claim there was a gap of one century.  Wikipedia:  “The first English colony in North America (Virginia) acquired its first Africans in 1619, after a ship arrived, unsolicited, carrying a cargo of about 20 Africans.  Thus, a practice established in the Spanish colonies as early as the 1560s was expanded into the English North America.”

Somewhere between 500,000 to 645,000 African-American slaves were brought to North America while an estimated 12,000,000 were shipped to the Caribbean.

Slavery in North America flourished mostly “in the South until the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution in 1865.”

What is not widely known is that Thomas Jefferson stated that one of the reasons America needed to break with Great Britain was because of “a desire to rid America of the evil of slavery imposed on them by the British.”

“Benjamin Franklin explained that this separation from Britain was necessary since every attempt among the Colonies to end slavery had been thwarted or reversed by the British Crown.  In fact, in the years following America’s separation from Great Britain, many of the Founding Fathers who had owned slaves released them (e.g., John Dickinson, Ceasar Rodney, William Livingston, George Washington, George Wythe, John Randolph, and others).”  (The last two paragraphs are from http://www.christiananswers.net/q-wall/wal-g003.html.)

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Posted in "The Help", African-American slavery, Emma Stone, Entertainment, Films, Octavia Spencer, Viola Davis

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | September 17, 2011

“Straw Dogs” (2011) Film Review: Totally Trash

STRAW DOGS (2011) Film Review: Totally Trash

 

By C.E. Chambers   Posted September 17, 2011

Mr. Seatmate (my husband) and I were so disturbed by this film last night that we forgot to take care of a pressing business need afterwards.  Arriving home, I watched the Jimmy Fallon show in which he interviewed the lead actress, Kate Bosworth.  This is what Fallon said about “Straw Dogs”:  “It will ruin people.”  And, “It’s going to give me nightmares the rest of my life.”

Was Fallon kidding?  He didn’t appear to be.

I’m not kidding.  This is the most despicable film I’ve ever seen.  Hollywood may have hit a new low.  Besides the heavy emphasis on “psychotic violence” (read Mr. Seatmate’s capsule critique here), and the well-worn stereotype that depicts “Christians” as outrageous hypocrites, it’s set in America’s rural South where white men are portrayed as sinister gun-toting, beer-swigging, lazy employees who are hostile to newcomers.  Adding to the over-worked and dishonest cliché-ridden plot is a thinly disguised dig against the U.S. military.

The inclusion of a prolonged rape is like adding poisoned icing to a cake already heavily laced with strychnine.

It’s the remake of an American-made film from 1971 whose characters lived in Britain.  While retaining most of the crucial elements of the first film, the setting for this one was moved to Mississippi.  A very convenient way for contemporary Hollywood moviemakers to interject bigoted material.

The first “Straw Dogs” sparked heated controversy over “the perceived increase of violence in cinema” and its “debasement of women” (read here).

Amy (Kate Bosworth), one of the lead characters, aggressively fights against her “Christian” ex-boyfriend when he tries to rape her — and when he overpowers her, she’s made to look at one point as if she’s enjoying it.  Lurking in the background and off camera is the boyfriend’s beady-eyed, menacing black-bearded buddy who takes over when the first rapist is spent.  He’s also a church goer.

Amy is portrayed as almost deserving of the rape:  deliberately undressing in front of a window while her ex-boyfriend and his simmering, creepy friends watch with their mouths hanging open.  Her new husband, David, a normally pleasant, intellectual Hollywood writer, ominously complains when she jogs in slinky tank tops without a bra in the sultry Mississippi climate.  (He prefers to wear long-sleeved shirts and long pants.)

For a character who walks out of a well-attended church service because he isn’t “religious,” David seems to enjoy threatening his wife with terminology from the Bible that refers to “reaping and sowing.”

Why do some moviemakers seem to relish the sexual denigration of women by exposing them — via actresses playing a role — to real live men who may already be on the precipice of a heat-seeking psychosis?  Is there terminology for the twisted ethics of movie industry insiders who only vilify people from a particular faith while simultaneously striving to become wealthy by endangering a particular gender?

The town’s football coach — a “Christian” who mouths Bible verses along with his pastor during a church service — is an iconic, emotional powder keg with a short fuse who has a daughter who tries to seduce a mentally handicapped man.  She knows that being alone with him can jeopardize his well-being if not his life.

Some of the other suit-wearing churchgoers easily strip down to sweaty muscle shirts and abhorrent, illegal behavior outside the boundaries of the physical sanctuary and aggressively ride around in a dusty, red truck that displays large stickers: “Keep honking; I’m just reloading.”  And, “These colors don’t run.”

One of these “rednecks” accuses David of belonging to the “educated” class of  people who believe in “global warming.”  Their pastor gives a sermon from Revelation in a fervent, trembling voice, and, of course, prays for a particular football team to win an upcoming game.  He asks God to “please protect those from here who are serving overseas.”

Finally, the blood-thirsty “Christians” wage a full-blown epic battle against Amy and her husband and the mentally handicapped man.  The agnostic Hollywood writer has no choice but to turn the tables against the unhinged “Christians.”

Plot spoiler:  A “Christian” African-American sheriff is killed by the white “Christians.”

Is it a coincidence that two Hollywood-generated films are currently playing in theaters that portray characters from Mississippi?  Is it a coincidence that both films contain Caucasian “Christian” characters who are thoroughly unlikable and incompetent?  While I highly recommend “The Help” (a miraculous balance is achieved between extremely sensitive subject matter and the characters who play out a real-life drama inspired by a novel set in the 1960s), “Straw Dogs” is just trash.

I used to incorporate icons along with my critiques when I worked as a film critic for a print publication.  One depicted a dump truck.  Look for it at some point to be displayed alongside deserving films such as this one.

Question:  Will StarvingEyes – the same company that recently released an online video game that allows users to vicariously murder politicians and cable news commentators whose political beliefs are different from the ultra-liberal left — create a video game that allows users to “kill” blood-thirsty, rapacious white “Christians” who attack an innocent Hollywood insider and his wife?

“Straw Dogs” is rated a hypocritical “R”: Inexplicable horrific, extended violence by “Christian” characters against an innocent man and his wife who are protecting a wounded guest in their home.  Cold-blooded murder of a policeman seeking to stop increasing violence against innocent parties.  The rape scene has an aura of provocativeness that may be considered “sexy” by thrill seekers who have become inured to scenes of violence against women.  Extremely foul language.  Heavy Christian-character assassination.]

NOTE:  If readers would like to know the names of the other actors in this film, pull up the lengthy review from an experienced film critic who described the impossible-to-miss Christian-bashing as “A subplot involv[ing] the way the town centers on high school football and local church services, which interlock sports and religion.”

[The "warning" image is from rakishfatloss.com]

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Posted in Christian bashing, Extreme violence, Films, Jimmy Fallon, Straw Dogs 2011

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | September 16, 2011

C.E. Chambers Would Like To Introduce Keali’i Reichel

Photo of Mau'i is by C.E. Chambers Hawai'i

Keali’i Reichel was born in 1961 on Lahaina, Mau’i, and was raised on the island.  His birth name is Carleton Lewis Kealiʻinaniaimokuokalani Reichel.  He is one of Hawai’i's most popular songwriter-singers who has won numerous awards, and consistently places on Billboard Magazine’s World Music and Heatseeker Charts.   He has opened for renowned singers like Celine Dion and Sting, and has performed at places like Carnegie Hall and the Hollywood Bowl.

His first name is pronounced Kay-ah-LEE-ee.  Ali’i refers to royalty and can mean a king or a queen, a chief or a chiefess.  Reichel “works to dispel long-held stereotypes of Hawai’i's living culture and her indigenous people.”

Keali’i Reichel has many other accomplishments that are noted at his official website (Bio Two) and at Wikipedia.  (Most of the above information was obtained from these two websites.)

“Wanting Memories” is from the album titled Kawaipunahele that was released in 1994.  Dina Ely wrote an excellent review and it can be read here.  Most of the songs are in the Hawaiian language with liner notes in English.  (The second track is a Beatles’ song, “In My Life”, and “begins with a haunting Hawaiian chant.”)

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Posted in "Wanting Memories", Keali'i Reichel, Music

Posted by: C.E. Chambers | September 10, 2011

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (Film Review)

(C.E. Chambers would like to announce the addition of a new film critic: “My Seatmate Speaketh 2011” located under CAPSULE FILM CRITIQUES 2011 on the sidebar.  Mr. Seatmate is not a plot spoiler like C.E. Chambers.)

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World

By C.E. Chambers   Posted September 9, 2011

theatrical release poster

Babes in black leather, butt balls (think spy tools), and a hot pink electric whip that a young girl uses to subdue bad guys.  And an oil slick that spews from a talking dog’s collar that stops handsome OSS agents dressed in suits from pursuing two spy-kids-in-the-making.  (How much money does a stunt man receive for falling on his okole – think Hawaiian – after attempting to run through treacherous black goo?)  These are my most vivid memories of this film, the fourth in the well-regarded “Spy Kids” series, written, produced, and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

The bad news:  Joel McHale and Jessica Alba (who play the parents) are bland, unworthy replacements for charismatic Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino.  Rowan Blanchard, who’s the new spy girl, isn’t so much spunky as she is testy and tedious.  Mason Cook as the new spy boy is laid-back but not a stand-out.  Alex Vega and Daryl Sabara, who winningly played the spy kids in the first three movies, do return as adults and this imparts a wonderful sense of continuity at first.  However, Sabara, as Juni, is unremarkable as a mature spy.  She’s just another babe whose form-fitting working ensemble is vixen black and beige (a girl’s gotta have a gun strapped to her thigh ) whose best scenes occur when she’s swinging an eye-catching, multi-purpose electric whip.   Actor Vega, who plays a mature Carmen, is also still employed by the venerated OSS (the greatest spy agency in the world) but he’s inexplicably surly and evil-eyed.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that he would have been truly in his element playing a very twisted character.

The plot?  Step-mom Marissa (Alba) is a very sexy, secret spy (is there any other kind in H*******d?) who can whup the bad guys butts whether she’s in imminent labor or holding a baby in one hand.  Her step-daughter hates her.  (This is one of H*******d’s easiest and most stereotypical ploys at creating tension between characters.)  Her clueless husband (Joel McHale, host of the “The Soup”) works for a reality-type TV show called “Spy Hunters.”  Marissa retires for one year from the spy business to raise a new baby and to spend more time with her family but is called back into service.

The major antagonists: A giggler named Tick Tock and another man called Mr. Clock (he wears a clock on his head, dummy) who plan to rule the world by speeding up time which will usher in the Day of Armageddon.  (I just report; you decide.)  There are more catch phrases and bromides about time than one can count (snicker).

Marissa’s two step-children are recruited by her niece, Juni, to help save the world, and they breach the defunct OSS Spy Kids Department’s warehouse which doesn’t make the OSS director (Jeremy Piven) very happy.

The good news:  Jeremy Piven is very competent at playing three or four different roles (trust me: you won’t remember how many either).  The kids’ convertible, aerodynamic space pods and the swinging, sliding, gliding giant clock works are pretty cool.  And Marissa’s baby regularly lobs food wads at people and passes “gas bombs” (not necessarily endearing scenes but a very welcome euphemism).

I’m rather ambivalent about the butt balls: silver balls that erupt from a spy dog’s (redacted) when you pull his ear.  Or is it his collar?  No, when you pull that, there’s that wonderful oil slick that causes well-dressed men to fall on their (redacted).  (English actor Ricky Gervais does the voicing for the robot dog.)

Theater goers are given an Aroma-Scope at the door so they can enter into  The Fourth Dimension (smell) by scratching and sniffing one of numerous numbers during  corresponding scenes.  Busy little person that I am (I scribble notes in the dark), I restrained myself until after the show when, eating pizza in the rain (it happens in Hawai’i), I bravely tested the scents in front of other diners.  Most of them smell appropriately like bubblegum.

Rated PG: very cheesy martial arts; bad guys riding very flimsy space-age airboards (hey, I was worried about them); danger of falling asleep in theater out of sheer boredom; inability to read scratch-and-sniff numbers on the Aroma-Card because of DARK THEATERS?

********

NOTE:  Does anyone remember that allegedly breakthrough Enjoli TV commercial from the late 1970s that took advantage of complaints from feminists?   A woman sang rather provocatively about women being wage earners as well as doing double duty as domestic goddesses and competent mothers: “…I can bring home the bacon, fix it up in a pan, and never, never, never let you forget you’re a m-a-a-a-a-n!”  (The advertising agency should have checked out the women who live on ranches in states like Wyoming and Texas.  They’ve always baked bread at dawn and helped to round-up the cattle almost in the same breath.)

That vintage commercial (see below) is so outdated it should be registered at the Library of Congress.  Yes, American women still “bring home the bacon” but most don’t hang out their wet clothes on the “line” any more.  And, according to trends in the entertainment industry, women need to wear tight, black leather jumpsuits and high-heeled black leather boots while changing diapers if they want to hang onto their men.

Late 1970s: See the first Enjoli commercial here with “‘Cause I’m A Wo-o-o-o-man” song. (“I can put wash on the line…”)

1980: See the second Enjoli commercial with the same song (the lyrics were edited a little) and a much slinkier “wife/mom.”  (“…I can read you Tickety Tock….”)

********

Sadly, I found an online review of the new “Spy Kids” film that probably reflects the desperation of the typical American parent who’s willing to settle for poor quality entertainment if certain criteria are met:  “Very strong moral, pro-family worldview where even the villains have something good in them and families are encouraged to make time for one another; no obscenities…”

http://www.movieguide.org/reviews/movie/spy-kids-4-all-the-time-in-the-world.html

********

[Afterward Sept. 10, 2011:  "Lobbies" was changed to "lobs."  C.E. Chambers' excuse?  She's researching a disturbing, new online video game that takes gamers into the "lobby" of a well-known cable news television station so they can "kill" commentators with the weapon of their choice.  See excerpts from the video game with the recreation of a Fox News "Lobby" here.   C.E.C. will be posting an update on this subject on Chambers World News.]   


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Posted in Entertainment, Films, Jeremy Piven, Robot spy dog, Spy Kids: All the Time in the World

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